If your wife insists that chanting God’s name or visiting the temple is unnecessary, understand that remembering God is not just an external practice but also an internal one. If someone engages in devotional remembrance within, it is equally meaningful. However, if your wife prevents you from serving your parents, you should not comply with her demand. Neglecting parental service crosses the boundaries of moral duty.
If visiting a temple causes disagreement, it can be considered, but abandoning parental service is unacceptable. Parents have the first right over you, as they gave you life and nurtured you. Neglecting their care is unjust. Regardless of the situation, one must never abandon the duty of serving their parents.
If parents ever require financial assistance and you have the means, you must support them. For example, if you earn 1000 rupees, at least 200 should be set aside for your parents. Fulfilling their needs in old age is your duty.
Balance in Marriage and Service to Parents
A husband must ensure his wife’s happiness, respect her, and fulfill her needs because she is his life partner. However, parents come first. If young couples today do not serve their elderly parents, where will they go for support? And tomorrow, when we grow old, our children may treat us the same way.
There is an old story— A woman used to serve food to her mother-in-law in an old clay pot. One day, she placed the pot on the ground forcefully. Seeing this, her child said, “Mother, put it down gently, or it will break!” The mother asked, “What if it breaks?” The child replied, “I will need this same pot in the future to serve you food, just like you are doing for Grandma today!”
Our actions shape our children’s values, and ultimately, we will experience the consequences of our own deeds. Therefore, serving parents with love and duty is essential, as it lays the foundation for a strong and virtuous family.
The Relationship Between In-Laws and Daughter-in-Law
A daughter-in-law is not a servant but the Goddess of the Home. In-laws should treat her as their own daughter. Just as they would want their own daughter to be treated with love and respect, they should do the same for their daughter-in-law. If in-laws insult or treat her harshly, it may bring sorrow into their own lives.
A home where women are not respected cannot sustain happiness and prosperity. A wife should not prevent her husband from serving his parents. If she does not wish to participate in the service herself, she should at least allow her husband to fulfill his duty without opposition. If a woman neglects her elderly in-laws today, she may face the same treatment in the future. Respect, love, and understanding strengthen family bonds, ensuring peace and harmony in the household.
A Husband’s Patience and Role
A husband must be patient because he has the responsibility of respecting the emotions of both his parents and his wife. He should support his wife in righteous matters but should not comply with anything unjust. On the other hand, he must endure both the right and wrong aspects of his parents because they are his givers of life.
Even if parents scold or rebuke him, he should continue to serve them with devotion. True service is only possible when it is done with a spirit of surrender to God. If his parents criticize his efforts in front of relatives, he should still remain calm and steadfast, without letting his dedication waver.
Why Do Parents Start Feeling Like a Burden?
In today’s time, children are increasingly influenced by the boyfriend-girlfriend culture. They are becoming inclined towards indulgence and self-centred lifestyles, where they dislike bowing before elders or serving them. They prefer ordering food from hotels, enjoying their freedom, and living as they please, rather than taking care of their aging parents or participating in spiritual gatherings.
This growing trend of casual relationships and materialistic desires is corrupting the minds of the younger generation. Wrong actions lead to a distorted intellect, and when one’s intellect is corrupted, respect for elders fades. As a result, parents begin to feel like a burden, and the thought arises that they should pass away soon so that life can be lived without responsibility or restriction.
Do Not Abandon Either Your Parents or Your Wife!
Never abandon your parents, but at the same time, do not cause pain to your wife. Find a wise and balanced path where both your wife remains satisfied and your parents receive the care they deserve. Your wife is your life partner, and abandoning her is not justified—even religion does not permit this. However, neglecting your parents, speaking harshly to them, or mistreating them under your wife’s influence will lead to your downfall.
Create a system where both your wife and parents are content. If your wife refuses to understand this and decides to leave you, do not abandon your parents. If she chooses to walk away, let her go—but never turn your back on your parents.
Fulfill Your Duty
Your parents have made you capable of standing on your own feet and fulfilling your responsibilities today. However, it is also your duty to lovingly and wisely help your wife understand this. If your wife fails to acknowledge that your parents gave you life and have a rightful place in your life, it is unjust. Spending your entire income only on your wife is wrong. A son is duty-bound to serve his parents. Even if your siblings are taking care of them, you must still contribute something to their well-being.
Help your wife understand with love and wisdom. Tell her: “Stay with our parents today, care for them. Tomorrow, when we grow old, our children will do the same for us.” If you neglect your parents today, your own children will learn the same and might abandon you in the future.
Modern education has corrupted the minds of the younger generation. Many have fallen into addictions, mistreat their parents, refuse to serve them, or even throw them out of their own homes. Many elderly parents today have no shelter, no one to care for them, and are unable to walk without help.
Serving such parents is equivalent to serving God. The blessings of the elderly are no less than divine blessings. Since they are now dependent on you, care for them, love them, and fulfill your duty.
The Power of Love, Patience, and Chanting God’s Name
Treat your wife with love and kindness, but if she behaves inappropriately, do not react with anger—instead, calmly change your approach. Your own behaviour will inspire her to reflect and improve.
Ultimately, chanting God’s holy name and sincere prayer are the true sources of peace and harmony in a family. We must always pray that our family’s mindset and actions remain on the right path, ensuring peace and happiness for all.
Guidance By: Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj
