I Get Very Angry When Someone Insults Me!
Our lives are shaped by countless actions accumulated over lifetimes—some good, some bad. These actions form the foundation of our current physical existence. As long as we live, happiness and sorrow will continue to come and go. Some people will bring us joy, while others will cause us pain. When someone behaves hurtfully, it is merely the result of our past actions. The person in front of us is not to blame; they are simply a means to settle our karmic debts. In this sense, they are our allies. Similarly, those who bring us joy are here to exhaust our positive karma. Both kinds of individuals play their respective roles in our lives.
Spirituality does not permit criticism of others. If someone criticizes you, endure it patiently. God resides in everyone’s heart and governs all actions. Even those who seek to harm the world with weapons and armies can only cause as much destruction as is destined. The same God orchestrates events for your benefit, even if they appear hurtful at the time. Consider the example of a child whose mother arranges an operation to cure him. The child may think his mother is being cruel, but her actions are meant to cure him of illness. In the same way, everything that happens in our lives is for our ultimate good. If you embrace this understanding, your heart will feel at peace.
Do Not Hate Those Who Harm You!
It is natural to feel resentment when someone mistreats us. However, this feeling can be transformed if we walk the spiritual path. Reflect on the reasons behind the behaviour instead of focusing on the other person’s actions. If you have done no wrong and still someone insults or mistreats you, view it as an act of God. Perhaps you were destined for a harsher punishment, but the lord intervened to lessen the burden by allowing a minor insult instead. You will not feel hatred towards them when you shift your focus from the person’s actions to this broader perspective.
Dwelling on others’ actions leads to anger. Acting in anger creates new karmic consequences, which you will eventually face. In a moment of anger, people often commit acts they regret, from causing harm to even killing others. Such individuals face consequences under human law and the law of karma and often spend their lives consumed by inner torment. A single lapse in judgment can ruin your life.
When you face mistreatment, bow your head and walk away. In doing so, the lord will protect you. Those who humiliate you will ultimately face humiliation themselves, but that is not your concern. Practice patience, forgive others, and chant the holy name of God. Fighting or arguing is not the solution. No one in this world has the power to harm you beyond what your karma dictates. Accept what happens, and your account will be settled.
How Long Should I Tolerate It? Should I Respond?
Tolerance has its limits. If someone insults or abuses you verbally, it is wise to endure it. However, you should seek legal or appropriate support if someone attacks your faith, values, or duty. If you are capable, protect yourself immediately. For instance, if you are a woman facing harassment or physical harm, take steps to get out of the situation, report the incident, and seek legal recourse.
Consider the story of Kamsa, who tried to kill his sister Devaki upon hearing a prophecy that her child would kill him. Vasudev understood that it was not the right time to act with force but with intellect. He promised Kamsa that he would surrender each of their children. Defend yourself, using your strength, wisdom, or legal systems when necessary.
If someone in your family exploits you, do not endure it silently. Report such behaviour and seek protection. While minor conflicts, such as misunderstandings between spouses or family disagreements, can often be resolved with patience, situations threatening your values or life should not be tolerated. For instance, if a spouse has taken a destructive path, divorce may be a necessary option. In cases of abuse, particularly involving children, it is essential to act cautiously and use the law to ensure safety.
Conclusion
Chant the holy name of God, take refuge in spirituality, and cultivate patience. The Lord will assist you. Nobody in this world causes happiness or sorrow—these are simply the fruits of our karma. Accept them and chant the holy name of God (Radha-Radha, Ram-Ram, Hari or Krishna) to sow better seeds for the future.
If someone insults, betrays, or cheats you, do not rejoice if they face hardships later. They are merely reaping the consequences of their actions. Instead, pray for their well-being. This will benefit you, even if it does not change their situation. Harbouring joy over their suffering will only fuel new negativity within you, which will burn you from within later.
Guidance By: Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj
