How to Serve Others Without Expecting Anything in Return

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We should serve others without expecting anything in return. When we serve others, criticism or praise should not mean anything to us. Why do we need to pay attention to it? When we have to do service, we should neither be happy with someone’s praise nor feel sad due to criticism. 

sukha-duḥkhe same kṛtvā
lābhālābhau jayājayau
tato yuddhāya yujyasva
naivaṁ pāpam avāpsyasi

Bhagavad Gita 2.38

sevaka sukha cāha māna bhikhari,
vyasani dhana subha gati vyabhicāri

Shri Ramcharitmanas

A servant considers victory, defeat, profit, loss, happiness, and sorrow equal. This is a mistake in our service. By doing service, if we want society to respect us and praise us, then we are not doing service; we are just fulfilling our feeling of pride and respect. Understand it granularly: if we are serving and someone is abusing us, then it should not matter to us as we are doing truth; we are doing service.

Serve Others Without Expectations

An iron pillar is erected in Ranganath Ji’s fair in Vrindavan. Gold, money and fruits (worth millions) are tied to it at a great height. A man will climb on top of another man, forming a new parallel human pillar to go towards the top without touching the main pillar. The one who ties the reward will use a ladder attached to the main pillar to pour a mixture of ghee, oil, milk, and water onto the bodies of these men, who will not be wearing any clothes except a loincloth. Now, these men have to climb up and get the reward.

To get this simple (insignificant) money, you can see how an adverse situation was created by the one who tied the reward. Similarly, in this game of pleasing Guru and God, one can escape the material world by serving others. If you serve others with your body, mind and wealth, you will surely attain God and His pleasure. But while serving, if we want respect, happiness, praise, and favorability, then such service won’t be accepted.

Service and Adversities

When we go into service, we will be given adversities. Just like when a son serves his parents, he has so much desire that when a relative comes to his parents, they praise him, but that does not happen; instead, they say our son is very wicked. We gave him all the property, but he did not bring us our desired items.

If the son tolerates and continues to serve them, he wins. Maya (illusion) will create obstacles in the neighbour’s mind, the family’s mind, and the wisdom of society. ‘You have to tolerate’; if you tolerate, then you win, and if you don’t tolerate, you lose, this is just a game going on.

See God in Everyone You Serve

God is in front of you as a person, giving you adversity. Worldly, it will look like the person is jealous of you. The spiritual answer is that God is present in everyone’s heart. He keeps checking every moment to confirm that you are serving well. If a person abuses you and you continue serving him without abusing or feeling bad when he comes in front of you, you look at him with gentle eyes, feeling that God is the one doing it, and you will win. You will become free from Maya (illusion). This service is a very big religion. There is no other way to attain peace than service.

Service is an enormous duty as you serve with all three: body, mind and wealth. This only needs patience. If you become tolerant, then you will get the happiness of service.

A Tale on the Mood of Service

A householder told his Guru (spiritual master) that worship isn’t possible for us as there are multiple tasks in household life. So, how can we attain God? The guru replied, “All scriptures and saintly communities famously say that the service of a saint pleases God very quickly.” So if you offer obeisances and feed saints, God will meet you one day.

The householder started searching for saints and feeding them. Many years passed, and one day, he was feeding a saint. He served him once and requested the saint to take more food. Saint said no. However, the householder did the second serving (of kheer – sweet pudding) out of love. The saint slapped him and looked at his face. The Householder kept looking down. Saint stayed in his neighbourhood, and the next day, the householder went again and offered obeisances to him and requested that he accept the prasad (food).

Saint went again to get Prasad and asked; I slapped you yesterday, then why did you invite me again today? He said to the saint, hey God, I am your servant; you kick or slap; it is your right. Saint said there would be no delay in attaining God; he would surely come soon. So, the nature of our service should be that we serve a person, and that person behaves unfavourably with us, but if there is no difference in our mind, then that service will make us attain God.