One should not think one needs to leave family life to practice spirituality. Don’t you consider your family a form of God? Treating your family members well and thinking of them as a form of God is also spirituality. Spirituality is not just linked to wearing robes of a specific colour, becoming a renunciant, and seeking alms. Spirituality means giving up attachment and lovingly serving everyone; attachment is polluted. One becomes renounced to give up the attachments.
As seen in the scriptures and the lives of saints, it’s not at all difficult to attain God if you have a godly sentiment in the family. When we put our sentiments of our Lord in a deity, He reciprocates from there. Then is He not in the wife, husband, son, or family? Renunciation is an internal instinct; outwardly, you should behave as per your duty. Attachment should not be maintained at all with anyone.
Difference Between Love And Attachment
There is a difference between Love and Attachment. In attachment, the emotion is towards the body, and in love, the attachment is towards the soul. Think that in the body of this wife, God is seated, and I have the service to act like the husband. Think that God is seated in the son’s body, and I have the service to behave like a father. First, rise above the bodily sentiment. Affection is not newly developed; our affection is spread out to various people and objects of the world. We need to collect our affection from the world and submit it at the feet of the lord.
Many saints lived a family life and achieved higher states of consciousness, and renounced saints sat and heard spiritual discourses from them. Married life and renounced life, both paths are provided by God Himself. One who practices spirituality while being in family life is special. To perform various activities related to household life while also meditating on God is special and is even more difficult. They have to earn money, maintain the family, fulfil everyone’s desires, and, despite all that, perform meditation. Therefore, they are great meditators.
Discussion Between Lord Hari and Narad Ji About Ambarish Maharaj
Once, Lord Sri Hari was praising the greatness of King Ambrish Maharaj, saying that despite being a great King, he had such great meditation. So Narad Ji asked, Dear Lord, yes, he is a devotee; he is the king and has queens, sons, and prosperity. What big deal? God understood the point Narad Ji overlooked. He asked Narad ji if he could do one thing. You constantly remember Me (meditate on Me)? He replied – “Yes, my Lord”. So Lord said, “You see this bowl is full of Ghee, you go around our Vaikunth in circumambulation. Sudarshan Chakra will be right behind you; not even a single drop of Ghee should fall to the ground; if even a single drop of Ghee falls, the Sudarshan Chakra will give you pain.
It was God’s instruction. So Narad Ji completed the circumambulation and said, “Lord, not a single drop fell. Lord said – Yes, Sudharshan ji is the proof that it did not fall, else it would have caused you pain. Therefore, it didn’t fall. Now tell me how many times you remembered Me. Narad ji, “Lord remembering? My entire focus was on the ghee so it didn’t fall down. Lord, “Yes, a householder, who, while doing all sorts of activities, remembers me, that is a great devotee”.
The Great Devotee Vibhishan Ji
When Vibhishan ji came in front of Lord Sri Ram, Lord said:
Tum Sarikhe Sant Priye More
Sri Ramcharitmanas
Dharu Deh Nahi Aan Nihore
O Vibhishan, I take this human form for saints like yourself; there is no other reason. Vibhishan was Ravana’s brother. He was part of the family of the demons. How was he a saint and a great devotee? Vibhishan ji lived amongst the people with demoniac tendencies but pleased God by chanting Ram Ram. Therefore, meditation is not a very difficult process; the only difficult work is understanding how to meditate.
Saints In Shirts And Pants
The actual detachment is of the heart, not external. If we love our bodies and sense objects, and if the robes are that of a renounced saint, there is no renouncement from within. If you are in a pant and a shirt, you are in a position of responsibility, and you are performing your meditation nicely, then you are a real renunciant. The attachment to the body is the greatest. The internal attachment of our mind and senses to the sense objects is the greatest.
A meditator means an untangled personality. If you listen to a spiritual discourse and decide to renounce and leave everything, where will you go after leaving? Are you taking the eating, drinking, and body and its attachments along and going to sit in a cave? There is a lot of protection in the householder life. Great progress can be made quickly if one meditates properly in family life.
However, one should not think that householder life gives the licence to enjoy indiscriminately. That leads to the downfall. Tread with control and meditate; you will become a great soul.
Original Question – My husband is not able to balance spirituality and married life; please guide us.
Answered by – Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Ji Maharaj
Answered on 28.04.2023
