To get over someone, you must replace the memory with someone else’s. We are attached to the female or male body, an object, or worldly pleasure; this is the plight of the world. A king named Bharat Maharaj left his kingdom, wife, and son to attain God but became attached to a deer and died thinking about it. In his next birth, he became a deer himself. If we keep the remembrance of God awakened within us, no other thoughts can defeat us. All these attachments can only be destroyed by the remembrance of God. By remembering God, you can forget about the world.
yasya smarana-matrena janma-samsara-bandhanat
Sri Vishnu Sahastranaam
vimuchyate namas-tasmai vishnave prabhavishnave.
Attachment To Human Bodies: Is It Healthy?
We are all trapped in various forms of attachment: lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, and anger. It is very difficult to become unattached to these. You can only be saved if you remember God; otherwise, attachment causes destruction. You have been given human life to attain God, and if that is not achieved, then it is nothing but destruction.
Chant the name of God; everything will be fine. Otherwise, you will go into depression because attachments are so intense that they crush the heart. Where do these attachments reside? They reside in our hearts, and we feel we cannot live without that person. However, the body is perishable; everything in this world is perishable, whether it is body, matter, or position.
The situation worsens when I am attached to you; you are attached to the third one, Aren’t you? I cannot live without you, and you cannot live without the other one; you do not care about me; all this is a cycle of Maya (illusion) that the one seeing whom we want to live doesn’t even want to look at us.
So you should try to rise above that level and remember you are part and parcel of God Himself. Do not get trapped in such memories or attachments that destroy you so much that you lose your life. Chant the name, listen to Satsang, and the attachment can be diverted.
How To Become Free From Attachment?
You cannot stop the free-flowing river. You have to construct a dam, and it will stop. Similarly, you cannot avoid the attachment directly. You can turn it towards God by chanting God’s name, doing naam sankirtan, listening to God’s pastimes, serving a deity form of God, and associating with devotees of God. In this way, our attachment will get diverted.
How Attachment Led Dhanur Das to God
A great man named Dhanur Das was very attached to his wife. He had a beautiful wife and wouldn’t even leave her alone momentarily. When the disciples of a saint saw this, they told their master about it. The saint replied that he was doing great meditation. He has no other attachments except love for his wife. This one attachment can be diverted; let’s go and meet him. He went to Dhanur Das and said, ‘Why are you so attached?’ Dhanur Das replied, ‘My wife is so beautiful, I can’t live without her.’ The saint said, ‘What if I show you someone more beautiful than her?’ Dhanur Das replied, ‘It is impossible’. The saint then touched him, and he saw beautiful Lord Ranganath ji. Upon seeing such beauty, he was so mesmerized that he immediately became the wife. He later became a great devotee.
Why Do We Get Attached?
It is very natural for a soul to get attached. Everyone wants to love someone and to be loved by someone because love is the form of God, and the soul is part of God. Our love has spread to the wrong place. Only God can reciprocate the love. Any material thing, person or part of nature will not be able to love us. When we love someone with the bodily concept in mind, we actually love nature only. We demand that whoever loves us should love only us and always stay with us, but no one in this universe can do this because everyone has their own nature and mind; only God can do this because He is all capable.
We have got this human body to get rid of this attachment, and it will be removed only when we connect with God; otherwise, Maya is very powerful and can create such adversity. Chant God’s name and take his shelter. If not, then the attachment here will destroy you. When the intensity of attachment increases, the person indulges in violence. He becomes so weak that lust dominates and destroys him. Lord Kapil Dev said that the attachment of these worldly pleasures is the cause of misery, but If the same attachment is done for saints and God, it opens the door to salvation.
Can You Live With A Dead Body?
If God (Parmatma or Supersoul) goes away from the body, how many minutes will we be able to love that body? We just cremate or bury that body. Unknowingly, we actually love God only in that form. But your attachment to other bodies will disappear if you knowingly love God. But it is very difficult to contain the attachments that have now spread. That’s why we chant the name and listen to the Satsang, then just like when the rope is rubbed against a stone over the time mark appears on the stone; similarly, by chanting the name and doing bhajan, the attachment of the world in our heart gets transformed into the attachment for God.
The Pious Characters Of Tulsidas and Bilvamangal Thakur
Tulsidas was attached to his wife and would not let her go anywhere. Once, the wife’s brother took her out when Tulsidas was away. He searched and looked for his wife like a madman. His wife then told him that the way you love my physical body, if you would have loved Ram in the same way, you would definitely have attained Him. Hearing this, Tulsidas stepped back and became a great man.
Similarly, Bilvamangal Thakur was attached to the prostitute Chintamani. She spoke harshly about him being too attached to her, and he walked away. He became a great man as well. He later saluted the prostitute in his writings, accepting her as his Guru for speaking harsh words and leading him to God.
For those who want to escape from the attachment of the world or are hurt by these attachments, there is only one place called God. If you have attachment to God then you can be saved, otherwise it will keep burning you from within. These attachments are very painful. This is how Maya works. You love someone, but that person will not reciprocate with you in the same way.
Consequences Of Attachment
You will fall ill if you keep sulking for your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. Food will seem tasteless, you will have trouble sleeping, and you will not feel like doing any work. Your thoughts will get spoiled, and your whole life will be wasted. You won’t be able to serve your parents, nation, or God. It will ruin your life completely. This is a very strange game. Control these instincts. We cannot get whoever we want; maybe you will get the one you are destined to be with in the future.
No one will act according to your wishes. Learn to live with patience. Cheating and deceit are happening all around the world. Very rarely can someone understand your love because love is extraordinary. You do not see beauty, qualities or wealth in love, but love in this mortal world sees only the skin. Do not consider deception as love; this world is deceitful. You wouldn’t have been in this situation if your friendship had been truthful. Finding a true friend is difficult; only God can lead you to one. So, trust him and forget your sentiments for that person and chant Radha Radha.
How do we attach ourselves to the feet of God?
Chanting and Satsang are needed to develop an attachment to God; by doing these, the heart gets purified gradually. God is compassionate; chant Radha Radha. God will show you mercy, and the attachment will go away.
Purify your intellect; you are going in the wrong direction and have got attached to the wrong place. We do not have the right to get what we want. We also have bad karma from the past with us. You should have accumulated penance, chanting, and strength to have people love you as you wish. Chant the name of God, and you will be saved; otherwise, the path ahead is very scary.
Original Question – I am trying to forget my ex-girlfriend, but I keep remembering her constantly. What should I do?
Answered by – Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Ji Maharaj
Answered on 08.02.2024
