How to Constantly Remember God, in Joy and in Sorrow?

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Joy and sorrow are an illusion. They are not permanent. What is called joy is referred to as favorability, and what is called sorrow is referred to as adversity.  When one gets a favorable circumstance, object, person, or place then he feels joy and when one gets an unfavorable situation, object, person, or place then there is sorrow. Both of these are within the realm of duality. There is no existence of joy and sorrow.

Are Joy and Sorrow Real?

In the Bhagavad Gita, lord Krishna says, O Arjun, this favorability, this adversity, this winter, this summer, this joy, this sorrow, these are impermanent, they are perishable, they are going to come and go, they are not permanent. Therefore, you bear with them. “Tams titikshasva bharata”. Lord is saying bear with them. The strength to bear with them is in my remembrance, God said. If we practice chanting the name of the God (Naam Jap) in such a way that whether joy comes, the name does not slip away or if sorrow comes, the name does not slip away.

“Matra-sparshas tu kaunteya
Sitosna-sukha-duhkha-dah
Agamapayino ‘nityas
Tams titikshasva bharata”

Bhagavad Gita 2.14

Now if your question is that, in sorrow, the name continues but in joy, the name slips away, then it is a lie. Why lie?  Because the one who enjoys happiness has to forcibly endure sorrow as well. If your disposition does not indulge in the enjoyment of pleasure, then how did you forget God? The ocean of joy, God, is on one side & the other side is the enjoyment of an object, person, place, and situation. So when you forget God, then what is the importance of that object, that person, that enjoyment, that substance, that event?  If we partook in the enjoyment of the happy event, accepted it & found joy in it & forgot God, if this is our nature, then we will be forced to suffer sorrow. Now when we suffer that sorrow, then how will we be able to remember God? If we remember God in sorrow, then in joy, one dances and celebrates with the remembrance of God.

So then there is a mistake in the principle here. No matter how much we try to protect the mind which enjoys joy, it will still suffer sorrow. If it is not joyful, then it cannot become unhappy. If there is no attachment, then hatred cannot be awakened at all. If there is no lust then there can be no anger. If there is no experience of joy in our minds, then the impact of sorrow will not affect us. If our remembrance of God continues in joy, it will naturally persist in sorrow. If we forget the name of God during joy then there is something wrong. We cannot experience suffering, the mind forces us to suffer sorrow because it has accepted the pleasure of enjoying. You see, in happiness, we dance & chant with joy, and in sorrow the chanting happens with devotion. 

Who is Bigger? God or Material Enjoyment?

Sorrow and joy are not strong enough to stop our chanting (bhajan). But, if we accept happiness, we find a person who makes us happy, and we forget God. So, on one side is Shri Bhagwan (Lord) & on another side is the joy in that person. Now, who is bigger according to us? The joy in that person, that’s why we forgot God. Who is bigger? The joy in the substance? Who is bigger? The enjoyment of a position? The enjoyment of any event? So, now in the state of joy, you exalted them and hence, in the state of sorrow you will be forced to suffer. This is the order of the universe. I feel we should improve our thinking, and our contemplation because we are seekers & have to improve. In pleasant circumstances, it is not that we should not enjoy them, we have a body, we will have to drink water, we will have to eat food, winter is there so we will have to wear clothes as per whatever arrangement we have. We will have to engage in practical dealings.

You are someone’s wife, someone’s friend, someone’s daughter-in-law, someone’s mother. You will have to adhere to all these dealings but all this while chanting the name of God. But if you forget to chant the name, you cannot be saved from sorrow. If you can’t be saved, then how will you chant constantly? When we forget to chant in joy, that is not right. Chanting is happening in joy but it’s slipping away in sorrow, then in that case, there will be an improvement soon. If we forget to chant in joy, we must suffer sorrow. For example, if we have attachment for anyone then we don’t have to desire hatred, if we are filled with lust then anger will automatically set in. The principle of the scriptures is “kama sanjayate krodha”, which is the word of God. So, there is no sorrow where there is no remembrance of God and if there is remembrance of God then it is not sorrow. Then how does joy make us forget God, which joy is such that it makes us forget God?

We will have to make some improvements. We will need to have some internal knowledge properly. Right now, there is a shortage in our Bhagwatik (spiritual) system. If there is no shortage, then in happiness, we dance & chant with joy, and in sorrow, the chanting happens with devotion. O’ Lord, please bless me so that this sorrow does not make me forget you and does not take me away from you.

And in joy, we dance & chant because of the mercy bestowed by the merciful God. It’s a pleasant situation, we are doing a lot of kirtan, we are engrossed in the remembrance of the Lord, and then sorrow cannot apply to us. Sorrow is applied only when we are filled with joy and forget the Lord and become happy in that joy. So, the next result that comes is sorrow. Joy and sorrow are both dualities. I feel we should contemplate & this is not external contemplation but internal and the flaw of this internal contemplation should be rectified.