Practicing celibacy within marriage contributes to a happy and balanced life. Scriptures suggest that the relationship between husband and wife should be limited and disciplined. For instance, intimacy should be avoided during menstruation and on holy days (such as Ekadashi, Purnima, Janmashtami, etc.). Engaging in intimacy once a month is considered appropriate, maintaining a healthy and sacred bond, fostering blessed offspring, and sustaining peace within the family.
If you already have children and still struggle to control your desires, try disciplining your mind and senses. Avoid being attracted to others and remain committed to your spouse while following a spiritual path. Over time, this approach will help reduce physical desires, leading to a deeper sense of fulfillment.
The Craving of the Mind and Senses
Our mind constantly seeks unending happiness. Yet, the truth is that indulgence can never fully satisfy the mind. Each time an indulgence is fulfilled, a new craving arises. This is why God called this world “Dukhalayam Ashashwatam”—a place of sorrow and impermanence. The more we indulge, the more our desires grow. It is like feeding fuel to the fire; just as the fire grows with more fuel, desires increase with indulgence. Thus, practising restraint in married life and spirituality is important. This approach brings balance and gradually quiets desires.
Pre-Marital Conduct and Its Impact
Today, many young people engage in romantic or physical relationships before marriage, which can directly impact their married life. A person accustomed to indulgence may find committing to one partner after marriage difficult. For instance, someone accustomed to restaurant food may struggle to appreciate simple home-cooked meals. This habit can lead to dissatisfaction in married life.
Where Is True Happiness?
True happiness lies in love, which is entirely different from lust and physical attraction. In genuine love, the joy comes from seeing your beloved happy. This love is free from selfishness and desire. Where indulgence brings incomplete satisfaction, love brings a complete one. Walking the path of restraint, spirituality, and true love is the way to find the happiness and peace that indulgence cannot provide. Practicing celibacy in married life leads to this experience.
I Wish to Practice Celibacy, But My Husband Is Lusty. What Should I Do?
It would be best to try to align with your husband’s preferences. When two people marry, they should advance together as friends, respecting each other’s interests instead of imposing their own. Since you’re partners on this journey, try to adapt your interests to harmonize with his. If there’s a difference in preference, gently encourage him to understand your perspective and bring him towards your shared values. If he’s unable to align with your preference, make sure he does not deviate onto an incorrect path. Support him as his companion.
You are both friends on this worldly path and must journey together. If both of you desire to practice celibacy, that’s ideal. However, if one’s preference differs, the other should offer support to avoid leading the partner astray. Respecting each other’s interests is crucial for a smooth journey in life. If your spouse betrays you or is unfaithful, separation may be considered according to the situation. However, maintaining mutual support is wise if he is loyal and committed.
Guidance By: Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj
